I feel broken inside, my husband hurt me for so long and then my ex and I started talking and I was brave enough to tell him what was happening. He packed what he could and travelled three days to be with me. he gave me the courage to leave for good, he promised me he'd never leave me again and i fit perfect in his arms, he loved me all these years was thankful for a second chance. now two days ago he up and disapeared just like he did to me 6 years ago and i swore i'd never trust him again but i did because i've always been in love with him, i just hid it from the world. when things are finally starting to make sense, my complete sense of self and grip on reality has been smashed to pieces. thank god for my children, they give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. if it wasn't for them i don't know what would happen to me. i feel like my body is so so heavy all the time and i feel so numb, like i'm really stoned but i'm not, i'm just incredibly sad. no more relationships with ex's, my husband was my ex we dated when we were younger, same as this ex that was suppsosed to be us getting back together. we made plans for our future and what we would do and the places he wants to take me to. the last words that he said to me were i love you baby. he promised to be back before my son's ninth birthday, that's in two days. he lied to me, said his money didn't come, but it did. said i'm gonna have a nap i'll msg you later, that was a lie, he left and now i'm dying inside, sure as shit i'll never completly recover from this.

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