I had a dream just last night about a guy I once knew. I met him freshman year when he was a junior. We shared the same major in our performing arts school so obviously we'd have something in common. I adored everything about him. I even grew to like him as more than a friend. I mean, really, why wouldn't I? He was handsome, especially with the little beard he had and the Tripp pants that my friends and I snuck papers into. He was witty without being a prick. He shared the same macabre since of humor. His writing was to die for. He always tried to cheer me up, raise my self esteem, and even skipped classes to hang out with me in study hall. Friends commented that he hasn't been this happy since he was with his first girlfriend who made him jump up and click his heels together, the way Fred Flinstone would. I shrugged it off until one day, nearing the end of the year, I was cleaning out my locker and he asked me to skip class to hang out in the weight room. I agreed and he had a huge smile, ran down the hall, jumped up and clicked his heels. And then I fell in love. You might think at this point "Well, what's so wrong about having a dream about someone who treated you so amazingly?" It was amazing. And after my breakup he my shoulder to cry on. And after I was molested he walked me home for three months, even if he had to walk to the other side of the city to get home. And after I was raped by a classmate, he swore to tell no one, and I had to stop him from killing the guy. But when I confessed my feelings for him, that's when things turned bad. He decided to use that leverage to make me do as he pleases. And I didn't notice because I was lovestruck and he never showed his intentions, not once. He sent me songs and told me he was interested in me, but couldn't go out with me because of: my being too immature, too soft spoken, too insecure, and a shitload of other things. So I changed. And to tell the truth, me changing actually made me a better person. I wasn't so afraid of everything. People could take me seriously. I could actually stand my ground now. But even after I changed he wouldn't date me. But he did want something else. It started with him biting my neck during gym one day. He lives the vampire lifestyle as well as I. One bite lead to another, lead to another, lead to biting on other places. Then touching. Then rubbing. And it didn't happen so suddenly I would notice. It was over the course of months. I was blind. The only thing that gave me a hint was when he 'whipped it out' during a movie. I freaked out. He begged for forgiveness, saying he lost his mind for a moment and didn't know what he was thinking. He asked to make it up to me. I told him to find a way. So he snuck me into a movie and during a sex scene he began to touch me and bite me and make me feel good in a way I couldn't reject to. And that's where it began. Touching one place would lead to touching another would lead to mouths and fingers in areas I need not say. We never had sex. Each opportunity he had he just stopped right there, got dressed, and we watched a movie or played a video game. As this was happening he fed me more lies about his intrest in me. Even said he was infatuated. That he couldn't get me off his mind. Even after I came back from the psychiatric ward (I have high anxiety) he walked miles to see me, make sure I was better, and stayed late even though prom was the next day. He confessed to calling my mother every day I was gone to see if I'd come back. He sounded like he cared. We even shared our first kiss and it made my beat so fast he held my hand and felt it on my fingertips. But one day during summer last year, after he and I went to the lake, he dropped me. Like a rock. Said he always hated me, always made fun of me with his friends, that I was less than nothing to him, and he wouldn't care if I was crying. Said everything he told me was a lie and he just wanted to have sex with me and if I wasn't who I am he wouldn't have taken over a year to try to get in my pants. He said he never cared and told everyone all the secrets I told him. He said so many things that made my heart drop, just the day after he said he was falling for me. For the next half year he started spreading harsh rumors about me. Things people would believe because it's coming from him. He ruined five friendships and turned two of my best friends completely against me, even to this day. No one wanted to speak to me and my reputation was destroyed. Even teachers looked at me different. I was a fool to believe his lies and I hated myself for doing so. I felt stupid. I felt worthless. I felt like utter shit. Over a year he spent feeding me that crap just so he could have a one night stand, then doesn't, then drops me and banishes my name from his mind. Eventually I met a girl who I fell in love with from the start. We share so many things in common, she doesn't mind me being immature, and loves everything I do. She keeps all my secrets and helped me become an even better person, making me smile every moment she's in my mind, and giving me the love I never had. Almost a year into the relationship and I know she's the one. I even asked her to bare my name and gave her a silver ring. Things couldn't get better. But a few months ago I got a call from a a friend, who is also a friend with that guy, and we talked because it's been ages. I brought up the man, and he laughed, asking if I was making it up. My friend, who never lies to anyone because he is such a 'goody goody Christian boy' (as we call him) told me the guy never said a single bad word of me since we met. I'd always be on his lips, even if the conversaion never involved me. He'd check his phone to see if he missed my call and wrote a poem of me. He'd curse anyone who spoke badly of me. He never told any of my secrets and really wished we'd gone out. I investigated this and all our mutual friends tell the same story. They called him obessed or lovestruck. So I got the courage to speak to him and he called himself stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Said he was sorry for all the wrong he did. Said he could never make it up. Begged for me to forgive him. I said I did and we talked every once in a blue about his being in college and my being a senior now. About my girl and his. About everything but the past. And last night I had a dream, where he treated me the same way he did. Held me close when I was sad. Fought for me when I was defenseless. Comforted me when I was scared. Laughed at the old jokes I used to tell, sang the songs he used to sing, and kissed me the way he did that night, telling me he was lovestruck. I woke up to the sound of my fiance calling me, asking what time I'd come over her house. I said soon and came right here to confess that I wasted an hour attempting to tell this story best I could, hoping someone would tell me that I'm stupid, because once I woke up I could smell his cologne and I cried, wishing he would love me, because I never stopped loving him.

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Responses:

What a beautiful story.

You need to tell him you still love him. I know he does too.

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ok no one in the fucking universe cares about your problems you dumb fucking bitch, keep it to 2 lines please, or i might have to backtrace your cunt faggot ass and murder you.

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