TellingSecrets.org -- I'm a junior in highschool and I had never kissed anyone until a couple days ago. I'm afraid of getting close to anyone, even just when someone brushes up against me, I hate it (due to past abuse). But I let this guy hug me, pull me onto his chest, kiss me, stare into my eyes. I was in heaven until my friend told me that he has "crushes" on four other girls and has had sex with who knows how many others. Now I can't stand the thought of seeing him again, letting him touch me...no, wait...ANYONE touching me. I want to cut my lips off. And now, I'm afraid to look at any guy who's "emo." He was emo. I regret every minute of it. But at the same time, I think I'd sleep with him. But then I'd regret it and hate myself even more.

I'm a junior in highschool and I had never kissed anyone until a couple days ago.
I'm afraid of getting close to anyone, even just when someone brushes up against me, I hate it (due to past abuse).
But I let this guy hug me, pull me onto his chest, kiss me, stare into my eyes.
I was in heaven until my friend told me that he has "crushes" on four other girls and has had sex with who knows how many others.
Now I can't stand the thought of seeing him again, letting him touch me...no, wait...ANYONE touching me. I want to cut my lips off. And now, I'm afraid to look at any guy who's "emo."
He was emo. I regret every minute of it.
But at the same time, I think I'd sleep with him.
But then I'd regret it and hate myself even more.

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