TellingSecrets.org -- I wish someone knew and cared about everything that has happened. I used to cut, and I stopped. It took a long time for all the scars to fade, but they only faded because I rubbed lemon juice and honey on them. Now I miss the scars, and the days are feeling lonelier and darker.... I miss cutting. I can just feel that blade in my hand again.... But I just got to wearing short sleeves again and I don't want to lose that. I dont wanna be depressed again.... I thought I beat it, twice. Now I'm slipping back into it and I'm afraid that I'll lose control and cut my arms again. I wish someone knew everything I've been through. I wish they know just how much I'm hurting. When i used to cut, I'd walk out of the school bathroom after a cutting session, and is walk down the crowded hallway thinking, you don't know I just hurt myself in the bathroom. You don't know I just made myself BLEED!! PLEASE! I just want someone to say hi to me in the halls like I do. I walk down them, smiling and saying hi to people I dont know, in hopes they'll see how nice I could be, and how they should be my friend... I'm afraid. I'm afraid of cutting. But I miss it so much! I miss my scars, I wish I'd kept them so I had proof that I did cut. Im so scared, Im slipping back into depression. I'm also twelve years old. I'm pretty sure I'm a 25 year old stuck in a twelve year olds body. I don't think like my friends do. I never have. Ive always known I'm different. This SUCKS.<br />

I wish someone knew and cared about everything that has happened. I used to cut, and I stopped. It took a long time for all the scars to fade, but they only faded because I rubbed lemon juice and honey on them. Now I miss the scars, and the days are feeling lonelier and darker.... I miss cutting. I can just feel that blade in my hand again.... But I just got to wearing short sleeves again and I don't want to lose that. I dont wanna be depressed again.... I thought I beat it, twice. Now I'm slipping back into it and I'm afraid that I'll lose control and cut my arms again. I wish someone knew everything I've been through. I wish they know just how much I'm hurting. When i used to cut, I'd walk out of the school bathroom after a cutting session, and is walk down the crowded hallway thinking, you don't know I just hurt myself in the bathroom. You don't know I just made myself BLEED!! PLEASE! I just want someone to say hi to me in the halls like I do. I walk down them, smiling and saying hi to people I dont know, in hopes they'll see how nice I could be, and how they should be my friend... I'm afraid. I'm afraid of cutting. But I miss it so much! I miss my scars, I wish I'd kept them so I had proof that I did cut. Im so scared, Im slipping back into depression. I'm also twelve years old. I'm pretty sure I'm a 25 year old stuck in a twelve year olds body. I don't think like my friends do. I never have. Ive always known I'm different. This SUCKS.

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Responses:

dont worry i know how you feel i never cut but i felt alone and depressed its not such a bad thing to be different its what makes you! Dont think of people not saying hi is a sign that they dont want you. just wait till high school its gets so much easier. middle school is drama its a grow up zone people learn from everything they do so no worries always keep that smile and dont go back to cutting you wont regrett it if you just stick it out and be as strong as you can!

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Chill out yo. You've got all your life to live.
Don't end it with a screw up.

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