I've never really whored before. It's just men - friends of friends - wanting to throw money my way.

Maybe I should do this for real.

Hadn't had sex in a while, and I love sex.

Why not get paid for something you love, right?

But then again, two brokens will never make a healthy whole.

I'd find my healty, and you'll find yours.

We deserve better.

I lost my soul mate.

I never believed in soul mates. I didn't even believe in 'falling in love'.

I'd had long term relationships, known a family, had long standing friends, but I'd never said the L word, never.

I got through my entire teens without ever swooning over a bloke or thinking 'oh my god, I'm so in love', despite being with and even living with one parner for three years.


I didn't want 'love' or to 'settle down'. I didn't want anything, but it came along anyway.

Still, we were together nearly two years, living and working together, before I ever said 'I love you', but I did.

We were one person, whole together. And I loved him to the bone.

We've been seperated almost two years. We still speak, on the phone, via email, through texts, but we can't met.

I've tried to move on, but I spend my life waiting for him to call up, for us to meet, for life to resume.

We're heroin addicts. I got clean and he didn't. I can't be near heroin and he can't be away from it.

Three of my friends have recently gotten engaged. Other friends are already married, have kids, careers, mortgages, take holidays.

I'm a fucking smackhead. I got clean to live, but my life since has been one long wait on the man, my man...my drug, my soul mate. And what scares me more is the phone call that says he's gone forever.

I never wanted to be in love.

I stopped being bulimic yesterday... So why am I still making myself throw up?

I want to die. Just disappear into space. Non-exist.
I want to implode all over your walls so you finally can't ignore me.

Death is just.

I fantasize about finishing my masters thesis early and then going on holiday while everybody thinks I'm still busy.
Guess it will never happen.
I'm just not the overworking type.

I had to switch high schools mid way because my parents claimed they were too poor to pay for transportation when we shifted to another neighborhood. It was a lousy school, all the kids were really shallow and uninterested in anyhting remotely intellectual - unlike the previous school where we had pretty good students there. I didn't fit it.

But my chem teacher - who is now a principal in a top school - sure fits inside me.

He's some kind of ugly with really good brains tho. Him I never properly liked. It was easy.

vDay sucks ball. Hey. I'm the girl who could forget to go to her own birthday party... twice! [You can't blame the Game/work really, it was addictive and waaay more fun than the Family and Friends [more like boys I borrow stuff frm]. [this one gets my goat XD] ... Erm? Vday? Mostly it's the annying Idealistic Romanctic who goes around thinking planning daydreaming about such a thing.

I like funerals tho, it lets me hope! (:

I trust you with a lot. I think I'll trust you with my life.

But I still don't trust you enough to open my other 'safer' emails on this PC. Those involve the lives of some ppl I know.

Guess this means I don't care for my life much, at least for now. Meh.

I am in love with a lesbian couple. Both of them. I live with them. I want them to achieve their dreams, fulfill their potentials, feel safe and strong. I want to make love with them. That's the secret part, the part that I put aside. I was injured in an accident, I have no feeling in my penis, only imagination makes it hard anymore. I was married for 11 years, I never made love to her. Now I am divorced and I'm not sure I will ever make love again.

You think I don't eat, but I can put away 3,000 calories in 30 minutes. I just sometimes happen to throw a lot of them up.
Or starve for 2 days afterwards.

The shimmer in the rock was deceiving; it's just salt, and his statue melded with the earth as rain pours torrentially, pounding whatever surface it lands upon, onto the ground.

But salt can have her own fun while she's around - enhancing color to the same old sounds. That is, if she don't spread herself on fragile, wounded egos first.

Don't know, doesn't matter. Salt don't care much for a Pepa that doesn't want her and pretty much resigned that she could be good for anyone, at all. But just maybe, nothing else but Pepa could truely fits her. Meh. XD




Goodnight! Good..... something.