Regrets

i had sex with the homies girl.

Well I have started my new year off on the wrong foot. I don't want to tell my love one because I regret what I did to her. She had to go away on bussness trip and I was not to see her until the new year ( not being with her new years eve). So I went out with a few buddies of mine and rang in the new year. While out I run in to a friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a while started to talk and catch up on how things were. It was left at that. Until the bar closed Im standing outside with my pals when I get a text from the friend I had met inside saying that they needed a lift home so we split a cab back to her place she invited me in I said not thing of what was going to happen next . Well one thing led to another and well we had sex. I never would had thought I would do such a thing to my gf of 5 years. I really regret doing this and wish I an turn back the clock so none of this would have happend.

I love this boy in my class named josh! once we were playing soccer in the field in are class and there was dew everywhere! he had slipped and then i had the ball and i was running and i fell on top of him it was so embarrassing!

I usually try not to think about it. And NEVER talk about it. But tonight it got to me. It's been a year since she and I went separate ways. I've gotten out of trade school, gotten a career, moved out of state, and joined the Army. But she still haunts me. I hear her name and get chills. She treated me terribly, cheated on me, and left me for an older man who lives a thousand miles away. I should hate her. But I can't. Because I know that at some point, she really did care about me. I still dream about her. And the worst part is, I'd take her back in an instant. But after everything, I honestly wish I had never taken her out that first night.

my whole life ive felt like my brain didnt develop as fast as it should have when i was younger. i think it's maybe because my parents raised me to be a nice and caring person that the real world ended up eating me, i found that ive made so many mistakes being used by people getting stepped on because i was weak. i wish i had a better mind state in high school i could have just started training and became strong but im 21 now and im just decidding to do it. i could have made my self look like a strong person and then maybe i would have had real friends

Well, you know I love you. We talked all night... And then I got friendzoned. FML

I met you on that forum. It was innocent contact I know and we had the most addicting and exhilarating time chatting with one another and eventually sharing all our dreams, sadness,thoughts and fears, baring our souls to each other the way we did. I wish we'd both realized two things from the start. I wish you'd realized that for me it was love from the first chat, (No matter how improbable it may seem to anyone, I'd never felt more drawn or attracted to anyone than at that moment in time when we laughed over our first joke.) And secondly, I wish you'd realized that you were emotionally destructive and manipulative and were to ruin my heart the way you've already done by now. I know it sounds ridiculous, and I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking me emotionally unstable or needy young woman, but I honestly wasn't at that time. In fact, I was at one of the happiest periods of my life when I found you and so I welcomed you into my life with open arms. We talked so much. I fell for you and continued falling despite how you eventually started making me question everything I loved, admired, believed and knew about myself. You took pleasure in manipulating my beliefs and attitudes like I was your puppet; you could tell by then that I worshiped, loved you too much to ever risk disappointing you, to take the risk of you disappearing into cyberspace forever over a blunder of mine. I started changing the way I talked, felt, thought and the things I believed just for you. By the time, you actually disappeared, I couldn't even remember who I truly was anymore. Despite that, I couldn't even face the truth and continued playing along to your "suggestions'' or ''tweaks'' to my beliefs for another year, even after you were gone, I guess that stupid girl in me was hoping you were just busy and that maybe you'd start spending time talking to me again, I guess you got tired of your toy; she's all messed up now, you've done all the damage you can do. It took me a whole year, before I realized that I was never meant to function the way you wanted me to and it was destroying who I was and everything I had built around me; my grades were suffering, so were my relationships since people didn't even recognize me anymore and I couldn't even tell them why I'd become this freak, this shadow of myself. I mean imagine what they'd think- a guy I met online brainwashed me so thoroughly I can't even remember who I am anymore? What would they think? Who'd believe me and just how pathetic would I look? Now I'm stuck, whenever I try to think a certain way, all I feel are goosebumps and as though the emotions are stuck and won't manifest themselves. I'm really afraid that it'll never get better, I can't imagine going through the rest of my life never feeling like myself again. I'm not happy, I'm not even unhappy, I'm just existing, that's how it feels right now and it is terrible. And I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET HELP. Counsellors are out of the option since I'm studying overseas in a country where I don't speak the local language well. It's a miracle I even got here, considering how badly I did in my exams after this incident. It's like I managed to mentally block out everything I ever felt for anything in my crazy, extremely misguided attempt to start feeling about the things the way YOU thought was "RIGHT". You spoke as though everything I knew and loved about life was ''wrong'' and I believed you, now, I can't undo these beliefs. When I talk to people, I feel like "me'' isn't even there talking to them anymore, like it's just the human being in me functioning from day to day. I hate that I don't know whether the fault is mine or yours. I mentioned that you manipulated me, but to be completely honest, I don't know for sure that you did it deliberately, which makes it so much harder for me. I just wish this phase of my life never happened. It feels like I wasted a year and am now wasting this one trying to get back to normal. Sometimes, I see progress, but it is so slow that sometimes I wish could give up altogether. I wish that I could talk constantly about this with someone, but the only people who even know what has happened are my two best friends and even they don't know all the details. I don't know how to tell my parents. And I keep getting the nagging feeling that no one will ever be able to understand why I let it happen, or if anyone will ever be able to relate or feel any sympathy for me. It's such a ridiculous story. I'm just so, so tired, I'm sick of my lack of enthusiasm, sick of not feeling anything, I just want to be happy and normal again. I'm so sick of just existing.

There's this guy I've liked from practically the moment I've met him. I never told him, or anyone who would ever tell anyone else or judge me about it. I was afraid that he'd never talk to me again, and I love nothing more than talking to him. Now, he's dating one of my friends, and I can't help but wonder it I would have told him how I felt, if we would have gone out, for this is only his second girlfriend, and he's never asked anyone out before. (she asked him out) I've been crying every night for the past three weeks, and I'm not even that sensitive; I've never cried about a boy EVER before him. I feel like there's a rock in my heart and as if I'm not good enough, because, she's so much bigger and uglier than me,(I never trash talk her so it feels awkward saying that, even anonomously) and she just swept him from under my feet.

I miss you. I loved you the moment I met you, and you loved me. We both knew it.

But that's why we can't be friends, you know. Even though I desparately want to, and you do, too.

We can't be friends because we are in love. And married to other people. And it will break those bonds. You say you can hold the feelings back, that we can learn to harness this power.

Maybe I'm weaker than you, because I can't. I just can't. Or I'm more in love, more obsessive about this. It is too strong for me.

Told my husband about you, that you made my soul smile and wanted to be friends. Told him that I said no, that I told you not to call or text anymore because I see you as a threat to my family.

I don't think he is okay with it but I do think we will come out of this stronger, more solid, and for that I thank you.

And I thank you for being so wonderful and great. Nice to know that my soulmate is such a nice guy. Goofy, but nice.

you, way to fucking break me. don't act like you care about me, and lead me on, only to panic last min and decide you don't want this. i have not stopped shaking since we spoke, and have been physically ill. the worst, is how you still want to hang out and be bestfriends, we crossed a line.