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I loved someone for four years. Even now I still can't forget about him. The first year I realized, I told him, but that didn't go anywhere, our relationship stayed the same, we didn't ignore each other, we didn't grow closer, everything was the same, in fact I am actually pretty sure he forgot about my confession a few days later. After I graduated, we never spoke to each other or saw each other again. A year late, I saw him, and he forgot all about me, he didn't even know who I was, from a class of just 20 people the year before. A few days later I heard from a very close friend of his that he had a crush on me in my fourth year and I remembered her telling me that while we still went to school together even though I was too scared to do anything about it then. But even now, I still can't forget about him, all I feel is regret, regret, and more regret that I didn't confess my fourth and last year with him, but I knew if I had a chance to go back and do it all over again, I knew I wouldn't have confessed, too scared to face rejection from him, lose a precious friendship, and face rejection from members of the class and school.
But that word still lingers in my head, REGRET.
I never trust anyone to be authentic because I am convinced my life is like the Truman Show.
I'll never tell anyone that you were molested. The first night we meet you told me that I was the only person who'll ever know and I'll treasure that night forever.
I just want to kill everyone I know and then kill myself. If I can't, then I just wish to kill myself.
I get annoyed when my mom asks me to take care of my cat's litter box. When I finally do it, this is how our conversations go:
Mom: *filled with snark and sarcasm* "Oh you FINALLY got it done after the 500th time of me asking you! Good Girl!
Me: *thinking to myself* "Don't poor the old cat litter on her bed.
She'd know it was you."
I got tired of people acting so emo and always depressed with stupid reasons to be. So I told them just to kill themselves, some of them, I haven't heard from for a long time. and hope i didn't cause an actual suicide.
I lie to all my friends,and my sisters. I tell them he is okay,or he is kind of like a brother, but I hate lying. I think about him all the time. His dad hurts him all the time, he abuses him, and he practically raises his little brother. All I can think about is him, and maybe he could be my first kiss, or my first serious relationship, but I doubt he likes me like that, because we have been pretty much best friends since sixth grade, and I do not want to ruin our friendship over a stupid, girly crush. His personality makes all his tiny flaws disappear, and he is so sweet, and amazing. I do not want to loose a friend like that because of my personal feelings.
Plus, who could like me? I am weird, and awkward, and practically flat chested, and I can't help but want him.
The night I left my wife:
My wife was always cruel to me. She'd constantly berate me because I didn't earn enough money working my toll booth. But I couldn't afford college. She'd slap my face at least 3 times a week for some petty reason, like I overcooked dinner.
One night I packed a small bag with some clothes, my birth certificate and my toothbrush. I hid the bag behind the bedroom door. I seduced my wife that night. I stripped her naked while I remained clothed and performed oral sex on her. But she didn't realise that earlier I'd collected one of her yappy poodle's hardened turds from the yard and stored it beside the bed. When her stinky pussy was sloppy and opened up from my cunnilingus, I reached down and found the hard piece of dog crap. While she was morning, I pretended I was doing some finger work while I rested my sore mouth. Then I slyly slipped that dog turd inside her vagina... I suddenly gave my fist a good ram to lodge it in nice and deep. She screamed from the sudden pain and sat up. She started to slap me. I said, "While you're naked, I'm leaving. And I hope you never get all that shit out of your rotten pussy!" Then I grabbed my packed bag and left forever... I never heard what happened after that. I only contact her via my lawyer now. A year later, the divorce is nearly done. I owe her nothing. I'm free.
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